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Writer's pictureAmy Thiessen

How to Create More Intimacy & Better Sex in Your Relationship.

A frank conversations with psychologist/ sexologist Shari Derksen on sex, intimacy, shame, & building connection.



On this episode of Rise Together I have the sweet pleasure of chatting with psychologist/ sexologist Shari Derksen. We explore the vulnerable & sensitive topic that come up around sex & intimacy. Delve into some of reason there can be sexual shame & explore ideas & practices that help couples re-gain connection & explore their yum.


Key topics/times

4:17: Reasons someone might seek out therapeutic support

6:53: The shame that comes with low desire.

8:30: Sexual development & early conditioning that may cause insecurity/shame

14:15: How a culture of 'productivity' effects our sexual relationships

15: 40 The anatomical differences that effect sexual satisfaction

17:36: Fear of being too much (particularly for women)

18:38 Strategies to help clients talk about sex

22:35: How to find a space for intimacy

27:33: Dealing with different levels of sexual arousal or desire.

33:05: Talking about the different things we like in the bedroom

36:06: Creating space to negotiate desires

37:58: Appreciating & discovering what we need & want

41:20: Other practices for creating intimacy


Shari Derksen is a practicing psychologist/sexologist in Calgary, Alberta,

You can find her at: https://shariderksen.com

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Beautiful conversation and I especially loved the suggestion of being with the sensations in the body without needing to come up with a reason for them and that crying doesn't have to make sense, it doesn't have to have a reason either. Thank you!

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